Looking back, I remember the very moment i got my visa to move to Melbourne, Australia. My eyes lit and my heart was filled with joy. The only reason i got my Australian visa was purely because of my DAD, for which i am very thankful . I remember the time he was running around like a maniac from one governmental institution to the other while i was running after him with a nicely stacked file in my hand. After all my Dad’s hard work i was granted visa to travel all the way to Australia to study further and achieve my goals. Meanwhile, I was also excited that i was going to experience “independence” and “freedom” as i heard people talking about it. But little did i know what the word “independence” and “freedom” meant.
It took me several of years to settle down in Melbourne. I must admit i was a bit dull. I can never forget getting panic attacks and mental blocks as soon i was in the spotlight for ordering food at McDonald’s or Subway. Even talking to new people made me nervous. I’ve offended many people with my awkward silence because i had no answers. I didn’t understand even a single sentence spilled an Australian’s mouth. How could i not figure out that slang words are like virus, it’s everywhere. Just like Nepalese people have uncountable slang words like jharpat (meaning nonsense), sala (originally meaning wife’s brother however it’s used to curse someone) Australians have zillions of slang words too.
Anyways, after my first month in Aussie land I was enthusiastic to work and earn money. People said “Enjoy your first month in Australia as i will never come”. It found it very absurd until i experienced a whole new life. I started working as a housekeeper at an apartment downtown during the day while i also worked as a waitress in a Turkish restaurant until late. Some days, i had school start early in the morning so i had to balance out school with work and not to mention sleep. I barely slept 4 hours at night. Some mornings i woke up feeling numb and sore all over my body while some mornings turned into nights. I crawl up to bed at 7 in the morning after a long busy day as well as night having achieved buckets of sweats and exhausted.
I was falling deeply into life’s restriction where i didn’t see a single sign of freedom. Working like a donkey wasn’t freedom for me then. Earning money, but having to spend all the hard earned money for my school fee wasn’t independence anymore. Uncountable debts for the sake of education was strangling me. The meaning of life seemed so opposite while i felt trapped in the world of freedom. I dared to dream but i started thinking i was at the wrong place to be dreaming. It was true! I am in reality where dreams are achieved after immense hard work and patience. Dreaming a little dream is not enough, instead i have to wake up and take actions to see that little dream come alive.
The most important thing is I should not give up. As once said by the renowned author Dale Carnegie, “We should develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success”. I believe some day the doors will open and I’ll breath freedom. My willpower will over rid my opposite meaning of life while my independence will knock on my door.